This is Me Trying to Carve a Pumpkin

The Ten Days of Halloween Horror continue! You can see the rest here and here.

From the the incredibly cute webcomic Gronk.
Katie Cook provides the all-too-true art.

I am terrible at carving pumpkins to the point that I haven't even tried in years. My teeth were rounded, not sharp. My eyes looked like they came from a demented laboratory and I almost always cut eyebrows that looked like Groucho Marx on acid. They usually ended up collapsing under the weight of carving. I can't think of a single year where any pumpkin I carved managed to make it to Halloween itself.

The worst, however, was when I came entirely too early to a Halloween party of a girl I liked and later dated. I asked if I could help set up since I was awkwardly early. They said sure...carve a pumpkin!

I did my best, and they were nice enough to even use the pumpkin later. But man, did it stick out like a sore thumb. You can ask me to do a lot of things for Halloween, but don't ask me to carve the pumpkin.